girl @ camping

So theres this girl, I have no idea where she's from or how old she is. She's campin with who I think are her grandparents. I like her. So she's camping 2 spots over and our eyes keep finding a way of meeting. I think she has some interest in me, but she's always with her family. I keep trying to catch her alone but I can never find the courage in me to just say something. It just feels awkward to start conversation. Did I mention I have no idea of her age? She looks,well, devoloped. But I have the feeling that she could be really young, well, 15 at the younger is my guess. I wish I could approach girls easier. Maybe I'm asexual I really want to talk to her, but tonights our last night here. She's soo cute, but seems alone. I wish I could be there to comfort her. But if she younger then I think, and she could b, itll be, well could be, considered buse of some weird way. I guess it's not gonna happen. THIS IS WHY IM ALONE IN LIFE.

I wish someone could teach me how to talk to women that I like.

Update: I've made moves to talk to her twice since I orginally posted. Both times somethins happened to block me from getting to her. FML

Update 2: third try, denied. I think god is either trying to save me, or fuck with my mind so hard it's gonna come squirting out my ears soon.

Update 3: My confidence level in life right now is at 0. I somehow brought myself to a brand new low over all this.

I'll edit and lengthen this post later too

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Sunnatime

Sun
Summertime
Sunnatime

Just relaxing and tryig to make the best of mu time off. Nothin to really complain about here.
It's too hot to think about stuff to blog.
It's not too hot to just relax
I think I'll choose the latter

Home in 2.5 days.... Yayyy.... =(

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Outcast

I sometimes get the feeling I was adopted.

I always seem to be the odd one out when it comes to my family. My personality just doesn't seen to fit in with theirs. Maybe I'm adopted. I always find myself repeating myself. Maybe I mumble. Sometimes I just get ignored completely. Maybe I'm too quiet. And when people acts silly for no reason, it bothers me. Maybe I'm stuck-up.

I might just be a loner, a social outcast as previously posted. But maybe, just maybe, imbadopted, from far away, where my behavior is normal. I could just like the independance, but I don't know.

I don't like typing on the iPhone so I'll edit this post later

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Social anxiety

Social anxiety is a term used to describe an experience of anxiety (emotional discomfort, fear, apprehension or worry) regarding social situations, interactions with other and being evaluated or scrutinized by other people. It occurs early in childhood as a normal part of the development of social functioning, but may go unnoticed until adolescence. People vary in how often they experience social anxiety or in which kinds of situations. It can be related to shyness or other emotional or temperamental factors, but its exact nature is still the subject of research and theory.

Source: wikipedia

I don't know why, I just suck at social situations. If you have talked to me before insure you know this. I'm awkward. It might be intimidation or the feeling of not wanting to say something wrong, but it always affects me. People say it's shyness but I think there's something more.

Can someone help me see why I'm so socially awkward??? Please let me know

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Blogging poolside

Sitting poolside, this is the life! The sky is blue, the bluest I've ever seen before. It's just so, relaxing. This is my first real break since Hawaii, and prbably the last kn what will be a long time. I'm finally done school, finished, which was supposed to be this great thing, but now I'm in the real world and I have no idea what to do now..

I wanna be my own person, work for myself, in a small setting. I want to have a business. Something that I'm interested in. I want to be fully involved and engaged in what I'm doing. I don't want to have people over me, constantly critquing my every move.

But I have no idea what to do. I'm hoping it will come to me, but I want it now. I know, I complain ALOT, but I do enjoy most of life. Everyone has there gripes, and I express my problems alot more than my enjoyment. I guess that makes me a pestimest.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

wi-fi

Well I went camping thinking I would be away from technology. Ahahaha well my campsite has wi-fi. Oh wells =)

Technology
Camping
Technolocamping

Mobile Blogging from here.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Going Camping

This is my last post before going camping. I love camping. It just gives me a chance to never have any set commitments and lets me be alone with my thoughts for a while. Maybe even give me a chance to start a new life, seeing as mine sucks right now. That should be my blog: mylifesucks.blogspot.com, seeing as I'm always bitching about something or another. I guess its just my release. I uno.

Thanks to that one perosn who makes my life worth living right now. She knows who she is. But really, thank you.

My quest to be a guitarist is going pretty well, I can actually play chords!! Transistions still are hard but I can actually hear music in what I'm playing now instead of just random strumming and singing really loud over it, pretending its a song. Thats REAL music =) .

I'm going to try and make a few posts while I'm gone, hopefully I can find wifi somewhere.

Keep on rockin in the free world

LOTD: Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

This has been stuck in my head all day

"Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd"

Day Four: Still no work

No work and all play makes Spencer a sad boy.

Will I ever be able to buy my new car? =(

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

LOTD: VEGAS - 4" Stud

"this monotony, is killing me
one day rolls to the next
i know you’re doing your best
but drying paint might be more interesting

a liability, i’m becoming to my social scene
i’m down on my luck
it’s only fun when i’m drunk
i need a change of scenery"

Friends

Friend
Enemy
Frienemy?

Why can't friends act like a friend. I've known you for like 5 years now I thought we were close. But now you starting acting way different to me. That's not how real friends act. I don't know if I did something but I don't deserve all the rudeness ive been getting from you lately. It may sounds cocky but I deserve better. If this is how your going to act then I guess we can't be friends.... =( it's a shame but I'm not wasting my time on someone who doesn't treat me the same, loving way I treat them. Fuck that. I'll wait and see what your next move is, but I'm done. I've put up with this before and forgiven but I can't keep doing it.

Can you really break up with a friend? I guess I'll find out shortly....

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

LOTD: He Could be the One - Hannah Montana

"Smooth talkin’
So rockin’
A-he’s got everything
That a girl’s wantin’
Guitar cutie
He plays it groovy
And I can’t keep myself
From doing somethin’ stupid
Think I’m really falling for his smile
Get butterflies when he says my name"

My Bedroom

I thought you might want to get to know me a bit better. Here's my bedroom/game pad and the home base for my blog

WTF

2.5 FUCKING HOURS. That's what I get to work. I wake up at 7 yesterday to find out there's no fucking job then come in today and get two and a half fuckin hours! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF ME WORKING? WHO CAN LIVE ON THAT LITTLE HOURS!?!?!?

I guess my new car future is looking gloomy....

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Guitar

So I wanna learn to play guitar, I just don't know if I have the time/ambition to stick to it.

I did my first online lesson today. I learnt most of major chords (A,C,D,E,G) and a few major chords. My wrist is killing me but I think I'm starting to understand what draws me to wanting to learn. It's so relaxing to play and yet gives you such a sense of accomplishment when u nail a section.

I don't know what my first song will be but i'm sure playing a full song is long off in the distance. I'll keep you guys (my imaginary readers) informs on any progress I make.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

LOTD: Summertime - Brother Love

"When I was young / I'm talkin' bout the Good times
Just you and me was all we ever cared about
We had it all (we had it all) OH!
I'm talkin' bout the good times – times

Drinkin' all day / Drinkin' all night
Dancin' by the Fire light – C'mon!

Because you are, Hot as Hell!!
You know that You are, Beautiful Heaven!!!
Don't you know that you are, Summertime!!
You're all that I need."

Summertime - Brother Love

blogicide

Blog
Suicide
Blogicide

A blog which has no reason to exist, and wants to die

iPhone
Blogger
iPhlogger

Blogging from an iPhone

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Blogger day two

So this is supposed to be my first post for today, but I really have nothing to say, nothing that comes to mind. Maybe this blog wasn't a great idea, I might be too much of an undespoken person to be a blog owner, hopefully stuff will come to me soon...

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

First Day Complete

Sooooo...

I've successfully gotten through my first full day as a blogger...

How do I feel you might ask? Accomplished, and weirdly more at-ease with my inner feelings...

I think I'm starting to like this =)

So another day goes past and I can only look ahead, 5 more days of sweating it out as a labour boy until I get a break from this life, and a chance to possibly start a brand new one, if only for a week.

LOTD: Digital Girl - Kanye West

To Keep myself blogging daily, I wanted to start a daily feature. I don't know if this will stay forever, but hopefully it will keep some people coming back

"I wanna see whats under there there now put it in the air
Yeah load it on my macbook air
Its a new form of macking don't be old fashioned update your passion
Only reason I be eye chattin its when its time for some action "

Digital Girl - Kanye West

Keith and the Girl

Brumski!!!

So this is a podcast (internet talk show) feature two hosts, Keith and Chemda. Along with daily guests, they talk about daily events, their very eventful lives and childhoods, and just whatever comes up in conversation.

This show may be the single greatest thing I have ever listened too. 'It brings my day up even on the worst of days. Their brand of comedy and commentary on events could make even the most cynic person crack the odd smile.

Countless times I have caught myself laughing aloud in public only the notice the weird glares from people passing by. Only this show can make me feel the way i do when I boot up my iPhone and click on the newest episode.

Congratualtions Keith and the Girl on their 1000th show!!! Can't wait to see the next 1000 updating in iTunes over the next few years

I hope everyone who reads this blog checks out this show. Party Super Party!

Keith and the Girl

An Introduction to Keith and the Girl

My (hopefully) Soon to be Car

Hopefully this will be mine within the next few monthes. Isn't she a beaut?

Girls

I don't understand girls, I know that it sounds like every other guy, but there's only a few things that really confuse me.

1. Why do you stay with someone who treat you badly? I know you might think that it's fixable, but if it goes on for months and months, is there really anything left to stay together for? There's always another guy who will treat you better. you may think your in love but if everyday you regret waking up, that's not healthy. And if your worried about hurting the guy, just think. If he really loves you would he make you feel this bad all the time.

2. What's with the mood swings? Okay I know what your going to say. "They're on their period." But why can you talk to someone and be having a perfectly normal conversation, only to have them spazz on you just because you say something that can only possibly be slightly misconstrued as out of line. Do girls find some sort of satisfaction in bringing guys down?

3. What's with girl having to get there way? Okay, this may not apply to all girls, but theres a few in my life which will hold to the smallest thing and would argue to the death against you on it. Again, is there some sort of satisfaction in bringing guys down?

4. Let's just be friends....I've heard this way too many times....

Reckless Reasoning

The title of my blog,

I'm hoping to use this blog to try and rationalize my life, whether it makes sense or not.

Reckless - adj. utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless
Reasoning - noun. the process of forming conclusions, judgments, or inferences from facts or premises.

I don't care what people think of me, what I write, or my opinions. I'll say what's on my mind, and never go back and change something. If I blog it at one point, it will always stay relevant. I need to unclutter my mind, and put my thoughts out there for anyone who cares, which I'm sure no one does.

Please comment on what I write, I love to hear what others think, even if it's negative. I don't care, I can take it =)

My First Blog Post

Welcome possible future readers,

I've never done this before, In fact until a few days ago I never thought that a blog would be for me. But someone told me how much a blog helps their life, even if no one reads it. Their blog is very important to them, and they say it help them express themselves when there is no one to talk to. (I will not mention a name).

I don't know if I this is for me, seeing as I'm shy and never really have much to say, which is kind of important to a blog. But I'll give it a try and hopefully let it expand my mind, rational thinking or not. I might hate this but I'll give it a try for a while.